About 
a year ago I was at a networking soiree for marketing and advertising professionals. The event was buzzing with various individuals shaking hands, exchanging business cards, asking questions and “networking.”
I had an advertising sales rep come up to me and although she had a drink in hand, she was there to do business. She immediately launched into a variety of questions, which felt more like an interrogation rather than a pleasant conversation.
What do you do for work? How long have you been involved in that? Who do you end up working for? Are you interested in growing that client base? What are your current advertising strategies? Have you ever considered blah blah blah type of advertising? In three months time we can do yadda yadda yadda to your ROI through blarf blarf blarf.
Not being the shyest person when it comes to be “sold” I eventually interjected to let her know that she and I did not share the same views on how advertising for my business should be handled. She was gone pretty fast at that point and onto the next person she could talk to.
Out of curiosity, I not too obviously, listened in to what her new conversation sounded like. It went a little something like:
What do you do for work? How long have you been involved in that? Who do you end up working for? Are you interested in growing that client base? What are your current advertising strategies? Have you ever considered blah blah blah type of advertising? In three months time we can do yadda yadda yadda to your ROI through blarf blarf blarf.
Sound familiar?
Honestly it made me feel a little slightly used. The sad reality was this advertising rep cared nothing about me, my business or whether or not their “pitch” was going to be successful.
Throughout the evening I watched this rep go up to person after person in the room, asking them the same questions and giving them the same pitch. It was an unfortunate miscalculation on their part.
I see similar miscalculations occur within the modeling and talent industry.
A common sentiment may be “I need to befriend this person because I feel that they could help or benefit my career.” The problem lays not in that the potential that they could help your career, but in the lack of focus for what you can do for them. When you have to calculate being nice to someone, it simply ends up coming off as disingenuous.
Or on the flip side, being mean can also be a calculated maneuver. Picture the talent who speaks negatively of others in the industry (whether they are being honest or not) simply in attempt to gain favor or approval of someone else in the business.
Or the talent who feels that flirting is the best calculation to obtain the admiration of those he or she wants to work with in the industry.
I am not going to go as far as to state that any calculation is a miscalculation, but you are probably beginning to see the problem that arises. The calculations become obvious and noticeable.
Best way to avoid miscalculations? Being genuine. Being nice simply because you are genuinely a nice person. Starting up a conversation with someone not entirely because you want them to do something for you (like get you into a magazine or buy advertising space from you) but because you are interested in knowing them, their business and what you can do for them.
Being genuine can never be construed as a miscalculation… simply because it is not a calculation at all.
To take this full circle, imagine if the following scenario were to happen at the networking event I was at.
Suppose that instead of hitting me with 101 scripted questions, the advertising sales rep just took a more personal approach and got to know a little more about the business I actually do. Why I chose the work I do over other genres. What is most important to me (hint, advertising is not) in the growth of my business. How I’ve built success in what I do. Where I find challenges in what I do. Then instead of trying to sell me a routine solution… she waits. She continues to develop the relationship without a hidden agenda. The potential now is that I trust her and even though I may not need her services, I know a bevy of others who do. The referrals are made to what is now a trusted colleague and her business grows.
For some great guiding principals on how to better network and build relationships the right way check out my friend Kimberly Miller’s blog at http://themodernme.wordpress.com/2012/06/28/networking-how-building-realtionships-for-the-right-reasons-can-impact-your-life/
James Patrick
www.jamesmpatirck.com
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