STICKING THAT SYRINGE FULL OF EXOTIC OIL INTO THE SIDE OF YOUR ASS IS NOT IN AND OF ITSELF AN ILLEGAL ACT. HOWEVER, EVERYTHING INVOLVED IN GETTING IT FROM THE PHARMACY IN MEXICO TO YOUR FRONT DOOR WAS; AND NOT EVERYONE MADE IT.
It's estimated that slightly under five percent of the nation is "juiced" to one degree or another. From 
hardcore bodybuilders and athletes, to Jersey Shore juice heads, to geezers like me on hormone replacement, nearly 15 million people are on the needle. Since the majority of these performance-enhancing drugs are illegal without a prescription, and since most users don't have one, an illicit industry is thriving in the shadows. And it has many faces that range from the alleged involvement of organized crime on the East coast that stock the local dealer's gym bag, to the weekend cowboy on a suicide run from Tucson to Nogales with a fanny pack full of cash and a born-to-lose tattoo on his forehead, to the internet desperado doing mail-order business in India or China or parts of Asia from his computer. Regardless of the discipline, all involve the same thing somewhere along the line. That line is usually the US border, and for some, that's where their luck runs out. The following is the result of an investigation that took me to two federal prisons, numerous pharmacies in Tijuana and Nogales, US Customs, and the DEA's office in New York City. I spoke with cops, customs agents, smugglers and convicted drug dealers. In so doing, I have come away with a deep sense of empathy for the casualties of this catastrophe called the war on drugs.
Though the war has failed, it won't soon end and the DEA has no choice but to enforce the laws that exist. Regardless of whether or not some of its own constituents even believe in those laws, the reality is that they will do their job, and there was nothing that bothered me more than turning my back and walking out of a prison visiting room leaving a young, vital, good-looking, otherwise law-abiding musclehead to finish up his 5 year stretch without a hope in hell of seeing anything other than khaki until then. Just one of the casualties. There is something deeply wrong with that, and it's not the drugs.
In 1990, President George H. W. Bush signed the Anabolic Substance Control Act into law, adding anabolic steroids to schedule III of the DEA's list of controlled substances. Hence, many performance enhancing drugs share the same distinction as codeine, seconol, ketamine, Valium and Percodan; all of which require complicated and highly scrutinized prescription procedures for doctors who wish to prescribe them, and the risk of felonious consequences for those caught usurping the accepted legal process in obtaining and distributing them. From a purely logical standpoint, this really doesn't make any sense.
All the other drugs scheduled III or lower by the DEA get you high or low. Some can even be seriously addictive and all of them are potentially dangerous. I don't mean dangerous as in your risk of getting prostate cancer or heart disease could be somewhat elevated after years of abuse. I mean dangerous like you can OD on them and die tonight.
There has never been a steroid user found bloated, purple, dead on the toilet in some hotel room in Beverly Hills. Or, if he was found that way, his condition was probably not the fault of the steroids. Even the instant gratification associated with the rest of the schedule III drugs is not achieved with steroid use. It takes weeks to notice any effect. Imagine dropping two Seconals and waiting six weeks for them to get you off! I don't think so.... Steroids are grouped into a category in which they clearly do not fit. The impetus for taking any other drug in the class is totally the opposite of the impetus for taking steroids.
Regardless of the inequity, the law doesn't really seem to be much of a deterrent. It actually forces hundreds of thousands of athletes and bodybuilders to accept the associated risks in order to get the gear they need to be competitive; most doctors don't write steroid scripts for healthy athletes. This leaves the athletes little choice, and has, in essence, doubled the moral implications surrounding steroid use. Not only does every legitimate amateur and professional sports federation ban the use of anabolic steroids, but, so too does the law. Technically, a very large number of professional athletes and bodybuilders continually run the risk of getting banned by their sport's governing body and going to prison, not to mention dropping some serious money on the defense. In essence, they're risking the total meltdown of their athletic careers.
It's estimated that 90 percent of all steroids used in this country are being used without a prescription and are smuggled in from other countries, predominantly, Mexico. The next time you're at a bodybuilding competition and marveling at the extreme muscularity and sharp condition of the competitors, remember these moral, legal and ethical implications.
The same goes for football, baseball and a big chunk of the Olympics. Usually, the most competitive athletes in any sport are seriously breaking the law for your viewing pleasure. The widespread ready acceptance of this not only by the athletes, but by the audience as well, has always intrigued me, especially with respect to bodybuilding because the monetary reward is so small and it goes to so few. Yet, steroids still have a very strong appeal.
Fifteen years ago, Dr. Charles Yesalis, former IOC doc, professor at Penn State, and arguably the nation's leading expert on performance enhancing drugs, stated in his book that over three million people have used anabolic steroids in this country. Today, with the advent of underground labs, internet marketing, Ant-aging doctors prescribing HRT, and the tremendous dissemination of knowledge via message boards and internet forums, this number is estimated by some experts to have grown to somewhere between 12 - 15 MILLION. But, where are they getting their gear? These drugs are illegal. Are 15 million people committing felonies and getting away with it? Nah, couldn't be.
Throughout the years, as a result of my affiliation with one or another hardcore gym, I have been availed of all sorts of illicit goods and services. If I was ever in the market for drugs, both recreational and performance enhancing, or for having the miles turned back on my car, Cuban cigars, illegal fireworks that amounted to small explosives, bodyguards, guns, fake IDs, or a screaming "deal" on a car stereo, all of it was available from some guy at the gym, or from somebody who knew some guy at the gym.
It's not just coincidence that the hardcore faction of muscleheads, the guys who actually do get big and lean - a lot of you guys reading this - live and train in that element. Many a bricked dude has a bit of that bad boy streak, especially if they do steroids, and particularly if they're Italian from New Jersey. Hardcore bodybuilders march to the beat of a different drum. Unfortunately, sometimes marching to that beat can wreak havoc with those who hold the keys to your freedom. And, let me tell you, it doesn't bother them one bit to lock you up - in fact, some of them like it. Knowing that, there are still dudes - a lot of that 12 - 15 million - with balls enough to go to another country and get what they need. Unfortunately for some of them, the trip home is going to be a walk down a long dusty road.
THE POLITICS OF CONTRABAND
One of the main drawbacks to buying steroids from some guy in the gym is the total lack of assurance you get when you purchase his gear. Typically, drug dealers don't offer money back guarantees on the potency and quality of the stuff you're buying out of their gym bags, other than saying such things as, "Oh man, this stuff is the shit!" Or, "I'm using it myself and I'm blowing up!" etc. etc. Odds are, a dealer, even if he is aware of it, is never going to admit the roids he's selling are fake or loaded with bacteria, or that the bottles are only two-thirds full. Once the buyer hands over his cash, it's gone.
Much of what is sold are hopeless counterfeits. Injecting bogus steroids can have many tragic, well-documented health consequences from lesions and abscesses to infections and terminal fevers that can land you in the ER. At the very least nothing happens - nothing, nada - the buyer's just been fleeced. There are some very good underground labs in America, but getting to be one of their customers is no easy task. As a result, many athletes have chosen to take on the risks of smuggling.
According to customs agents, any obvious bodybuilder is definitely taking his chances going to Mexico, buying steroids and attempting to smuggle them back across the border, especially from border cities such as San Diego, El Paso, and Nogales, where they drive across the border. Big guys are instantly suspect because these places are notorious crossings for steroid smugglers. They are also nasty places to be arrested. The Fed's policy is for customs agents to make an arrest on the spot (even for what might seem like small amounts of personal-use drugs), call the U.S. Marshals and have the offenders hauled off. Unfortunately, a trip to Mexico probably means stocking up, so that "personal use" amount defense lawyers try to use could look like quite a bit when it comes down to the indictment. Whoever may have said the contraband is merely confiscated, and that only a stern warning and a slap on the wrist is all they get, is setting someone up for disappointment. Grave disappointment.
The marshals bring the alleged smuggler to a federal detention center to await arraignment before a federal magistrate who will order a particularly high bail - or worse if the Feds can convince the judge there is a risk of flight, since it's an international smuggling case. The subsequent prosecution will be handled by a federal prosecutor who is probably quite adept in getting convictions in steroid cases and enjoys the challenge. And, the attorney's fees for the defense could go to six figures. Foolish money since the Feds claim a 98 percent conviction ratio. Once convicted, if it's the first time, it's probably off to camp - Club Fed - a minimum security prison camp where life is going to seriously suck for up to eight years in some cases, and it could get worse. In short, those cases of Equipoise that only cost 600 bucks directly at the veterinary pharmacy have just cost the farm.
According to recent underground steroid literature, it wasn't long ago that Mexican steroids were thought of as a last resort for many bodybuilders. The first choice was always the much more expensive European steroids that offered broad product diversity and perceived higher quality. Then came the underground labs if a reputable one had you on their customer list. Many suspected that Mexican drug companies, especially those producing veterinary steroids, would cut corners in manufacturing and release a less-than-safe-for-human-use product. There was fear that the actual dosages would differ from the label claims, as well as concerns about the product's sterility.
There are conflicting reports as to weather or not this has changed. Recently, reports of prescription pharmaceuticals that are openly purchased in Mexico by visiting Americans - Prozac, Viagra, various sleeping pills, diet pills, and pain killers - have shown to be of inferior quality. This would seem to up the anti for steroid buyers. Regardless, today, our neighbor to the south is the undisputed Mecca of bodybuilding pharmaceuticals. Mexico has very lax drug laws that allow anyone to walk right into certain pharmacies and buy everything they need; steroids can even be charged on a Visa card! (Someone who lives in Mexico can call the pharmacy and have the juice delivered). Mexico's manufacturing methods are supposedly much improved and there is an extremely large variety of steroids and related bodybuilding items, both domestic and now imported, human and veterinary, at a fraction of the price on the street. A bodybuilder's dream! For some, that dream turns into a nightmare as soon as they hit the border.
The federal prison camps in California, Nevada and Texas are home to many non-violent drug dealers and importers. Many of them are there on steroid beefs. Birds of a feather flock together when they're locked up and share the woes of what didn't work. Some of these guys contact me from prison from time to time - to tell me who ratted him out and that I should write an article about it - and they are always willing to talk about their case. The spectacular accounts of success don't seem to be that many. Generally speaking, the guys who are getting away with it are not sitting in a prison visiting room in the middle of the Mojave Desert, wearing kaikies, and talking to me. But, some have.
One guy I met was doing a 30 month stretch for attempting to smuggle 100 Sustanon preloads, 10 bottles of Andriol, 1000 Stenox tabs, 10 bottles of Nubain, 10 bottles of test, and 25 boxes of Spiropent across the border at the San Yisidro boarder crossing in San Diego, California. Most of it was his, the rest he was picking up for his training partner. They would do this about twice a year and alternate the trip. They had a "secret compartment" built into the chassis of a Jeep (impounded at arrest and subsequently forfeited to the court), and crossed several times with nary a hitch. They got searched a few times, but the compartment was just too well done and always foiled the search.
So, what happened?
"It was a tip off," he said, matter of factly, "they knew we had it because they went right to the spot, they knew right where to look."
"Seems like a tip off, but how did they know? I'm sure you guys had some kind of system."
"Of course we did!" he fired back, "I did everything - I parked several blocks from the pharmacy making sure no one could see the car from the pharmacy and walked the rest of the way. I also brought a change of clothes, in case the pharmacy gave a description."
He told me he had heard of a certain pharmacy that allegedly had a deal going with U.S. Customs for accurate descriptive information leading to a steroid bust. Allegedly, the reward to the pharmacy was the return of the confiscated gear so it could be sold again. And, again. What he didn't know was that he was being watched.
According to his file, this guy was observed hiding the drugs under his car. "Paid informants keep an eye on the pharmacies down there," he told me. "They're looking for big guys coming out of the farmacias con una bolsa grande. They knew what I was driving, the tag number, and what I was wearing after I changed my clothes. I was a goner, dude, the second I drove up. It was like they were waiting for me."
Yup, one thing a convicted smuggler will tell you is that if Customs knows you have it, they will find it, even if means tearing your car apart piece by piece. At least that's what they did to this dude.
I met another guy named Joe waiting out a similar beef at the Federal Prison Camp at Nellis Air force Base out side Las Vegas for bringing 500 Primobolan ampoules, 500 Sustanon preloads and 300 Stenox ampoules, taped to his girlfriend's body returning from a trip to Tijuana. He figured She'd be third down the line in front of the car and him, respectively, in the event of a search. He said, "I figured if they got to the point where they strip-searched my girlfriend, the cops were tipped off, or something." He never figured that at 5-foot-8, weighing 250, wearing a shorts, a tank top, vascular as a road map and the color of raw liver, gave them reason to suspect something.
It's a pretty good guess that a one-day steroid shopping spree in any Mexican border town where the intent is to drive in, buy, and drive back the same day, is responsible for many inmates burdening the tax roll, because the popularity of this activity is well known in border towns. As much as you'd like to think so, the cops aren't stupid. They have seen it all before. Guys have been arrested with bottles of Mexican suntan oil which were actually the Sustonon preloads squirted out. Other products such as body oil, toiletries and various cosmetic products have been used to try and disguise various drugs. One cop told me he popped a guy with a deodorant stick filled with 200 tabs, punched out of the foil packs, behind the stub of the deodorant. The same guy also had a larger bag of pills stuffed into a bottle of hair conditioner.
Another brother in the Federal Prison Camp in Boron, California figured that mailing his stuff back would be a safe bet. "Even if something did go wrong," he said, "it doesn't place me with the drugs. That makes it much harder for the government to get a conviction." Or so he thought. He didn't realize that would be off set by breaking yet more federal laws because the U.S. mail was used and the drugs crossed state lines.
"I had the stuff sent to a different name, care of my address." He told me, "the name on the box was a fictitious priest I made up, a distant cousin, who is a traveling missionary and uses my address to receive mail. I made sure the Father also received a few letters and a small package or two from various other parts of the country." Good story hu? Well, the package was delivered by a DEA agent posing as the mailman. "I opened the box, a little transmitter thing was in there and bam, the door blows open and I'm on the floor with MP-3s pointed at my head." What a way to live, huh?
For the huge majority of the estimated three million drug-using athletes, the only thing dangerous about the drugs they're using is that they are doing so against a really stupid law as it pertains to them - and they might get caught. The percentage of adverse events reported in that community as a direct result of steroid use is remarkably tiny in comparison to the number of guys in jail because of them. Let's not even compare the statistically more dangerous but legal over-the-counter drugs, and the dramatically more lethal alcohol and tobacco. In America, it's legal to purchase, pay taxes on, and use drugs that make you sick and die, but it is illegal - and you can go to prison - for purchasing and taking drugs that make you bigger, stronger and faster. There's something wrong with that and it's not the smuggling.
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