The media loves to blow things out of proportion. The latest rhetoric spewing out of our nightly news programs is the ongoing drama between the half-assed threats made by North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, and the United States Government, as they seem to be taking it somewhat serious. Does North Korea have a nuclear warhead small enough to fit on a ballistic missile that can be aimed at US targets? Probably. But the likelihood of them actually being able to carry out and execute a successful mission is about as good as U.S. Troops finding WMD’s in Iraq – remember that load of bull by Bush and his cronies? All of this propaganda is allowed, of course, by the U.S. Government to drum up fear amongst its citizens to control the masses and manipulate the economy and world policy. One would think if North Korea actually wanted to go 12 rounds with the US they wouldn’t announce their plans so haphazardly. After watching the movie “Olympus Has Fallen,” I think a sneak attack seems much more plausible then the “hey, look at me and all my cool toys” tactic being played out by the 29-year-old fat toad, Kim Jong-un. But, just for arguments sake, what if North Korea actually decided to do something unthinkable, like successfully attack U.S. soil or its allies? The aftermath wouldn’t go left unfelt like it has been with the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. With China being on the shoulder of North Korea the impact would be felt world-wide. And in our little corner of the world, things in bodybuilding would be forever changed.
In the event that North Korea decides to commit suicide and start trouble with America, and, for some unknown reason, China decides to back them up, there wouldn’t be a nuclear fall-out like many doomsday fantasizers would predict. Instead it would likely be carried out through technological and economic warfare. Trade between China and its greatest importer of goods, America, would cease. And the $1.2 trillion dollar debt America has with China would essentially evaporate. Although we’re unlikely to see a nuclear holocaust traverse the world like the plague, we are likely to see a complete collapse of any worldwide economic structure, which to some might be just as unpleasant.
If there’s one thing I know, it’s that when there’s bad shit going on in the world and there’s debt collectors calling the house, riots in the street, and Marshall Law in effect – bodybuilders will still be bodybuilders.
In 1992 during the L.A. Riots, I didn’t read any editorials in Flex of the chaos effecting Shawn Ray’s training regimen or him being interrupted driving his new Lambo down Hollywood Blvd. Flex Wheeler and Charles Glass were still able to train at 5am as they prepared for the USA Championships even though the Crips and the Bloods were looting the local Korean mini-mart a couple miles down the road from their gym.
And when Cedric McMillan was overseas serving in the US Army he was known for building his own homemade gym equipment with stuff he found around the base in the middle of the desert. But without China in the picture flexing its muscles, the L.A. Riots and the Iraq War all seem a little more trivial.
When you think about China the last thing you probably think about is bodybuilding—and no, Hidetada Yamagishi from Japan, An Nguyen from Vietnam, and Kris Dim from Cambodia do not count. Actually, China offers bodybuilders a lot more than just their sometimes good and sometimes bad HGH. Most of the stuff our athletes need is produced from overseas. Protein powders, supplements, gear, clothing, tanning spray, tanning oil, glitter, posing trunks and bikinis, Shawn Ray’s eyeliner, stage lights, stereo equipment, microphones, computers, and whatever the hell is in Rich Piana’s arms all comes from China’s manufacturing plants.
Now I don’t claim to be an expert on foreign affairs and politics, but if this economic meltdown were to occur as a result of North Korea losing its mind and China sticking up for their psychotic little brother; many think that there would be chaos in the streets here in America. With the US Government on its heels, every Tom, Dick, and Harry—or better yet every Dennis, Jay, and Branch—would be at their local gun store buying out the arsenal to protect their trucks, infinity pools, and Bentleys. Bodybuilders are absolutely fanatical about their guns. The gun loving folks in the NPC and IFBB all seem to live out in the desert somewhere, or, you guessed it – Texas. I’ve watched videos of Robert Burneika and Dennis Wolf go out to some deserted plot of land in Nevada with enough firepower and ammunition to take down an M1 Tank. Now that’s all fine and dandy if you enjoy guns. If you want to go shoot some little deer’s eye out in the woods at 5am, in the freezing cold atop a tree stand, then by all means, have at it. But, if you’re actually stocking up on an arsenal to protect yourself while you sit out on your front porch waiting for the enemy or a war-loving government like the U.S. to come equipped with enough classified weaponry to destroy the Earth 1000x over, then you must have some sort of delusionary problem—or you were raised in Mississippi.
And let’s not forget about the technology disaster those North Koreans and Chinese would put on poor little old USA. Remember, they’re really good at math, binary code, and video games. They would hack into every mainframe known to Man, crash our bodybuilding sites, spam our forums, and eliminate peptide sites across the country. A meltdown of this magnitude would leave Curt James sucking his thumb in the fetal position for the next 10 years. He would be banning people named Kim Yushin, Yi Sun Sin, and Choi Hong Hi out of an abandoned bunker in Nova Scotia.
Luckily for bodybuilding and bodybuilders around the world, North Korea is merely a bump in the road that will soon be forgotten. But the next time you hear one of the political pundits on TV trying to get viewers all in a fuss, remember, if this ‘war of words’ ever does escalate, it could effect a forum and stage near you.
Until next week follow me on Twitter @MattMeinrod or read my archive articles on www.MattMeinrod.com
