Hello my friends; Greg Kovacs here. Since this is my first article for RX Muscle I'll be discussing the past few years that I've been absent from the sport of bodybuilding as a form of "therapy", of sorts, for myself. I'm 
documenting for my fans, haters and anyone else who cares to read this article, the mistakes, failures and hardships I've been dealing with in my life. I'll be sending it off all this negativity; letting it go from my heart and mind . . . leaving it all behind me. Only then can I move on to greater and more positive achievements. Working with my good friend Dave Palumbo of RX Muscle is the absolute best way I can think of to reinvent and resurrect myself. After all, The Kovacian can only truly write about "The Truth in Bodybuilding" and what better place to do it than at bodybuilding's #1 website: Rx Muscle, The Hardcore Holy Grail.
Ok, a good place to start would be my Arnold Classic debauchery of 2004 where i looked and felt absolutely hideous. Incidentally, i had a severe bacterial infection in my lower intestines from about 6 weeks prior to the show that got progressively worse as the contest approached. This caused intense bloating, terrible runs and basically sucked the life right out of me and my muscles. There's no way i should have competed. Being totally flat and having extreme bloating and cramping of my stomach is not something a bodybuilder wants to deal with days before the most important contest of his life. By show time I looked like a prisoner from a concentration camp that was 6 months pregnant. . . like a starving Cambodian. I listened to people close to me. They must have been blind because i was getting flatter as the show approached. I don't think it's a good sign when you're spending the entire time on the toilet in your hotel room while simultaneously trying to carb load. The whole experience was a disaster; I was just devastated.
A fun fact people don't know about me is that i have suffered from panic attacks and anxiety for the longest time. Even the year i won the Canadian Nationals I almost didn't compete because of these issues and I looked great that year. I half-heartedly tried redeeming myself at the IFBB Niagara Falls Pro in 2005 but those memories of 2004 still messed with my head and I entered big and bloated. It's been hard to get past these truths, especially when people can just click to these disasters anytime they want on the internet. My haters have a field day with that stuff. Well, at least someone benefited.
Shortly after all this, my wife Kim and I split after 16 years of marriage and, to me, that was a much worse blow than what I'd recently gone through at my contests. She was my best and only friend, and she did just about everything for me. She was my rock. I was very introverted and she was extraverted. Anyone who knew us as a couple knew they would always deal with Kim; never with me. Kim was great in many ways. She cooked and weighed out all my food and basically took care of all our business. One of my many regrets is that i didn't take a more active role in the business aspect of bodybuilding. She talked to all the promoters and booked all my appearances which was fine at the time. Many times when I'd be giving a seminar and someone would ask me a question; she would instantly cut me off and answer the question for me. She was also very outspoken and would just say whatever was on her mind. At times, that greatly hindered our future business relationships. A lot of people never really got to know me; they only knew me through her. In the past few years i have been trying to find myself and my identity again. Presently, I intend to personally interact with the fans and supporters of our sport. I want them to get to 
know the real me. I must be the only pro who had his wife talk about his nutrition strategies in his DVD training video. This is the true reason why, ever since Kim left, life has become such a huge adjustment for me. Thinking, doing and speaking for myself has been quite a learning experience these past few years. Once you understand this about me you can also understand why I've made so many mistakes and poor choices in my life. But I'm learning. Kim and i still keep in touch and i wish the best for her. I'd like to believe that she wishes the best for me, as well.
So after Kim left, it was a new experience learning to deal with people I'd meet. On top of that, all the horrible bullshit on the Internet about our split-up pushed me into an even greater depression. All this Internet talk reminds me to thank Nasser El Sonbaty for all the "nice" things he said about Kim and I after he stayed in our home, freeloading, for a month. The lying bastard!
The funny thing about Nasser is that when i read all the terrible things he wrote about my wife and I, it actually shocked me because we never had any bad blood or argument of any kind. In the time he stayed in our home, I thought we became good friends. At the time, he was stuck in Canada with an expired visa and we took him to the US embassy every few days during that time until the matter was straightened out. A few months later, I saw him at a photo signing at the Night Of Champions and he acted like he didn't even know who i was. Strange character that Mr. El Sonbaty. I'm sure, soon enough, our paths will cross again. It might even happen at a Men's Warehouse where I hear he's selling cheap men's suits. Maybe we can document it on video? It would be a great reunion. Maybe we can have one of those celebrity boxing matches? That would be a lot of fun!
One valuable lesson I've learned is that there are people out there who will sense weakness in a person, then circle like vultures (disguised as friends). They'll make all kinds of wonderful promises; however, the problem is that most of these promises have no substance behind them. I've always been too trusting, so when my wife left me I was like some big naïve kid; easy prey for manipulative people. A few failed business ventures with these supposed "friends"; however, taught me to be smart and ask questions. Trust me when I tell you, I've learned some valuable lessons at the "school for hard knocks".
Needless to say, after getting screwed a few times, a pattern emerged and I've come to the realization it wasn't the sport and industry i needed the break from after all. I just needed to find a new path and focus on the sport I love and miss being part of. Competing was never my strong suit. Given my competitive history, I guess that's not really any great revelation on my part. I have many other things to offer. I was the first and only 400 pound IFBB Pro bodybuilder and I was the largest Canadian National Champion in the country's history. That's something I suppose. My knowledge and experience with training, nutrition, and coaching (anyone I've helped prepare for competition over the years have all attained their best ever shape) is among the best out there. I will leave it to the discretion of my former clients to submit testimonials if they don't mind admitting I helped them. You'd be surprised how many guys and wouldn't give me credit when I helped them out. The funny thing is that I never even charged any of them. Now they're charging clients and making a living training other people with information they learned from me. I, humorously, think to myself, sometimes, "I should be known as the most massive guru in the industry"..
I haven't been on the Internet, or followed the sport for quite a while, but when I went back online, I was pleasantly surprised to see how many fans and haters-- you can't have one without the other-- were still talking about me during my absence. My fans were hoping I'd come back and my haters were hoping I wouldn't. I find that watching all the latest, talented, bodybuilders is quite impressive. It's motivating me to kick it up a notch in the gym again.
So there you have it. This is what i have been dealing with for the past few years. Now that I've told my "story", I'm hoping my fans and maybe,even a few of my haters can embrace my return and support me in rediscovering the Kovacian. I want to thank Dave Palumbo and the RX Muscle crew for adding me to the family. This is the only place I can think of that feels a lot like "home" to me.
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