When Shane McKee recently appeared on ‘Muscle Girls Inc' he provoked quite a reaction from both male and female listeners. This was mostly due to his willingness to be totally open about his gender dysphoria and the process of transitioning from a female to a male. The importance of this interview cannot be emphasized enough when you take into consideration the widespread use of male hormones by female bodybuilders with no gender identity problems.
However, I thought that Shane's story was compelling enough to ask him to share it with you once again and, with this in mind, I set up another interview. My aim is to stimulate greater awareness of the condition of gender dysphoria AND to maybe make some female bodybuilders think twice before they lean towards the use of heavy androgens in their drug cycles.
So, having said all that, let's take a closer look into the world of Shane McKee....
I have to start by asking you how old you were when you started to feel unhappy with your gender.
"I was probably 4 or 5 years old. I wanted to dress like my dad in t-shirts and jeans. I also wanted to take my shirt off."
How hard on you mentally were your teenage years...especially when puberty kicked in and your body began to develop fully as a woman and your periods started?
"I remember being horrified when my breasts started to develop. When I was 12 I was dressing and passing myself off as male. It became very difficult to hide my breasts. My period started when I was 13. At first I didn't know what it was. I was not too bothered by it until I reached age 16, then I hemorrhaged every month and had "accidents" monthly. I still have nightmares about having "accidents" even though I no longer have a cycle."
The day you first got your period...how difficult was that?
"Very confusing, I didn't know what it was. Then I was very upset. When I turned 16 my period started to royally suck. One month I became so bloated with water retention that I couldn't get my pants zipped and my mom took me to the doctor. He thought I had a bowel obstruction. This was my typical monthly period. I also got very bad fatigue about two weeks out as well as reduced Vo2max and strength. And mood swings....they got so bad my mom took me to a shrink!"
How hard was it to emotionally deal with puberty as your female secondary sexual characteristics began to dominate you physically whilst mentally you still felt essentially male?
"During puberty I didn't realize I was transgender. At this time I didn't even know it existed. If anything, I thought I might be a lesbian. But again, this was not socially accepted and I repressed these feelings. I was in denial for the most part."
How were your personal relationships in those days...with men and women...did you ever try to ‘conform' just to make life easier?
"I always played with males, I hated everything female. I played with boys but they always picked on me. I was the kid who was the target of bullies until about age 15."
So when did you finally decide to make ‘the change'?
"I had the desire to transition a few years ago but my partner wanted me to wait until we moved where no one knew us. I finally committed to changing in January 09."
How did you feel about the changes you started experiencing in your body when you started using test? Was there anything about it that did not meet your expectations?
"The first change was increased strength. It was awesome. Then my period stopped. Then my voice got deeper, I was thrilled. Then I gained about 12 lbs of muscle and people started calling me sir. I loved it. My first cycle was Test C and EQ. I actually had high quality stuff and loved it all. It exceeded all my expectations."
What was the reaction from the people around you at the time when obvious changes began to manifest (e.g. deepening of voice)?
"My physician asked me if I was using steroids and my dad asked my partner if I was using steroids. I told everyone I had bad sinuses. My physician suspected a tumor on my vocal cords."
Did you ever feel the need to ‘break away' during this period and start life all over again in a new place where no-one knew you?
"No. I knew what I was doing was socially repugnant to many but I am definitely not a coward. I am not fearful of being a victim of a hate crime as I could easily destroy an opponent. However, my partner is always worried about this. Especially what would happen if I were ever arrested or rushed to an emergency room. Would this be a dangerous situation?"
When did you begin weight training and what started your interest in bodybuilding?
"I began hardcore about 2000. I had always been a fitness buff and started at a gym seriously training at age 38. I decided I wanted to bulk up. I weighed about 130lbs. At the end of my first cycle I was 155lbs. At the beginning I had great disdain for bodybuilders who used steroids. My interest in steroids began as interest in testosterone and sex drive, not for bodybuilding."
If your plans include competing are you worried at all about how the other competitors will receive you?
‘I do plan on competing. My goal was to show in 10/09 as a heavyweight female BB but then I transitioned. I can't legally change my gender until I have my chest reconstruction surgery in December and I have no desire to compete as female now that I am living full time as a male. . Then I will be able to compete as a male. It is my hope that other competitors will not know I am not a biological male. Anyway, it will be harder for me to gain enough to compete with males, so there should be no issues."
What is your current steroid dosage?
"100mg Test Cyp/wk. I am under the care of a physician, an endocrinologist, who prescribes my test. I had to provide a letter from a therapist claiming that I suffer form gender dysphoria and that I am living as male. Before I was aware that this was an option, I began taking the same dose but had acquired the test from a UG lab. I started the transition dose in Jan 09 and had my first appointment with an endocrinologist in April 09. I had to wait 2 months for the appointment because he is only doctor in the city that treats Trans people. However, it was important for me to do this legally."
What are your views on the ‘pregnant man' switching back and forth between genders in order to have children?
"Personally, it disgusts me. The thought of being pregnant causes me to entertain suicidal thoughts. I want nothing to do with my female parts. I also think it confuses the general population and makes it harder for Trans to get understanding and respect. However, from what I have learned, transitioning is an extremely personal thing and we all have different level of comfort. Some of us must have total removal of all female parts, i.e., total hysterectomy, chest removal and closure of the vagina. Some of us are content with just chest reconstruction. Some of us must have a functioning penis -even if it is only 2-3 inches- and scrotal implants. Some of us must have a real size phallus, called a phalloplasty. Again, it all depends on being able to acquire funding. I would say every transman I know absolutely must have chest reconstruction. This is where the breast tissue is removed and nipples are resized and moved to resemble a male chest."
Does the current use of steroids amongst female bodybuilders concern you?
"Hell no! I know it is just 5% of bodybuilding; the other 95% is dedication, training, diet and sheer discipline. I am not attracted to women that look like drag queens from too much gear but I understand that it is impossible to get the mass to compete without running strong androgens. I have a great respect for female bodybuilders. I know how much hard work it takes to build quality muscle. We all want to see women with big muscles on stage and there is no way to make this happen without heavy gear use."
Any advice you would like to pass on to someone who may just be considering their use?
"For females, I would say don't use highly androgenic substances unless you plan on competing. I really don't think females should use any steroids unless they plan on competing. Anti-estrogens are fine but steroids all have side effects that most women will not be comfortable with. I do believe in HRT for older females who have a decreased sex drive. I counseled one such female and on a dose of 12mg/cyp wk she had great improvement in libido and fat loss. However, even on this low dose after many months her voice did get hoarse and she switched to anavar. There are ways to safely run androgenic steroids and maintain femininity. These may include keeping cycles of long estered drugs short or sticking to short estered drugs and drugs with lower androgenic properties such as deca and anavar. Prop may also be a good choice as it exits the system quickly. A must is to always have aldactone on hand in case sides appear, this will flush androgen out quickly. Finally, one must educate themselves thoroughly before taking any substances. They must be aware of the good and bad effects that may be caused by use."
What are the best drugs and dosages for FBB to take in your opinion?
"Well dosages are always going to be dependent upon the individual and their drug metabolism. There are two types, fast metabolizers and slow metabolizers. This is not caloric metabolism but how the body metabilzes drugs. It is always best to start low and adjust as necessary. For the average female, a dose of 10mg prop/EOD is probably a good starting point. This can be run for 8-12 weeks. The safest bet is to use anavar, primo or deca. Anavar can be run at 10mg/day for 8 weeks. Deca can be run at 50mg/wk for 12-16 weeks. The same with primo. Although the reality is that many female bbers are going to want stronger less expensive drugs. I would steer clear of the long estered androgens such as cyp, tren E and enanthate."
As you enter the next half of your life as a male what are you most looking forward to?
"The biggest change is my chest reconstruction surgery. I will finally have a male looking chest and I won't have to wear the uncomfortable binder any longer. I have had to wait for a year for this surgery because insurance doesn't cover it and I had to scrape up $7k to have it done. My most exciting experience currently is being able to urinate standing. I can pee at a urinal like a bio male and this is very exciting for me. I can pee anywhere. It is so liberating for me. There really isn't any genital surgery that gives us a functional male anatomy. But I have ordered a custom made prosthesis that is surgically glued to my pubic area and looks amazingly real. It set me back $1355 but is so realistic no one would know it is not real. This will give me confidence in male locker rooms, etc. It can be worn 24/7 and allows for sexual activity. No more need for strap ons and harnesses. It will be a part of my anatomy. I have just placed my order and it will take 7 weeks to be made and delivered."
Well Shane, I thank you for your willingness to share your experiences with the readers of RX Muscle and I am sure everyone out there will join me in wishing you all the best in your new/true life!
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